Finding Balance

It's interesting to see how everyone deals with stress differently.

Throughout this quarantine, I have watched people go through an entire array of emotions. I, myself, have experienced an array of emotions.

I find that I'm exhausted with no reprieve. How does one take a break from the very world we live in?

I keep waiting for that sense of hope. That moment when we band together and realize that we are all humans trying to survive this.

I catch glimpses at times. Often, it is shrouded by something horrible that calls us together. And, yet, with the distractions of everything going on, I wonder how much of that impactful moment will stick with us.

We are trying so hard to move forward that we are experiencing everything drastically while not allowing it to teach us what needs to be changed.

So much of what is happening is calling upon us to step up in new ways. It's scary. It's unknown. It could be something so magical.

Yet, fear has caused a strange uproar of losing our freedoms to the point of losing all sense of humanity itself.

The selfish "me" attitudes are blasted across the news and social media. There is no regard for the lives of others. It's so disheartening.

Yes, masks can be a pain to wear. But what is the cost of not wearing them?

I have heard so many, "Why do I have to wear a mask if they're not wearing a mask?" First of all, not everyone can wear a mask. There are actual medical conditions that prevent people from doing such. And those people are at a higher risk. They might not have someone to help them to take care of essentials like shopping. So we wear a mask for them. We wear a mask to protect the people at home who are at a higher risk. We wear a mask for those who refuse to.

I'm not quite sure where all these people get off deciding that it's their freedom to threaten and actually commit violent acts. If someone chooses to wear a mask to protect themselves and others, that's their choice. It's also your choice to not, but at least make sure you're educated in the area.

If a store chooses not to allow you in without a mask, that is also their choice. Not only are they trying to protect their essential workers, but also the customers who are unable to protect themselves. How is a mask in this situation any different than a statement of "No shirt. No shoes. No service."?

The things missing in this situation are respect and empathy. What in any of this makes it ok for you to belittle, attack, bully, etc people who are just trying to follow what is probably best?

It brings me back to school. All the people trying their best to follow the rules were goody-two-shoes who were incapable of ignoring the rules. Yet, on the other side, there were the people who refused to be brought down by the man!

Both were frowned upon. Yet both seem to paint the picture of where our country is now. We have extremes refusing to entertain the idea of the opposite side. We have good or bad. Black or white. Light or dark. There is no gray.

Why? What is it about the gray area that freaks people the fuck out? What is so scary about the balance of two extremes? The extremes exist to show us how far things could go one way or the other, but existing there indefinitely is exhausting. Even just watching someone do it exhausts me.

Let's take Star Wars as an example. If I were to ask who the good guys were, you'd undoubtedly say, "The Jedis!" Well, why? What is it that makes them good? The movies? The colors chosen to represent them?

And what about the Sith? What makes them bad? Why are the most well-known leaders the ones once drawn into the light?

If you're done trying to defend against something I haven't even said yet, feel free to continue on, otherwise, maybe just ignore this analogy.

Moving on!

My answer (also my opinion, so feel free to disagree) is that the extreme need to shut out the other side pushes us out. Anakin was pushed so hard to not become the Sith lord that prophecies predicted that he fulfilled just that. He was told not to love. He was pulled away from family. He was constantly reprimanded for thinking differently.

Same shit happened with Kylo. We feel the connection in his story to Vader because there is a psychological pain that we understand. We feel compassion for someone who should be evil! Why? How could we do such a thing?!

Well, because neither of them was inherently pure evil. Nor were they pure light. They were struggling to find a balance between the two, but neither were able to fully succeed in that. The light fought hard to bring them back. While the dark fought hard to consume them.

While the light seems more capable of rational thinking, the dark seems more consumed by the need for ultimate power. Yet, beneath it all, both sides just wanted to prove they were stronger. Better. Tiptop! It created chaos and evil on both sides. There was a struggle that was insanely deeper than just a fight between dark and light.

But can you imagine a story where instead of being told to resist the dark temptation and erase their personalities, Anakin and Ben were educated in working through their unresolved feelings? Where they were allowed to explore the extreme feelings they felt? The love? The hate? The confusion?

Now, in movies, that doesn't really make for great entertainment, but in real life, I think it's key. Even when we compare ourselves to characters on TV, we always think, "That one is me, except for these things I'm more like the other person." Well, yes. We are typically a blend of the extremes they show.

So, my point is, why are we letting a label of "our side" dictate shit ass behavior? I don't give a shit what you registered to vote as or what color your skin is, that doesn't make you better than anyone else. You know what does? Your actions. Your empathy. Your ability to at least listen to the opposition.

When we act out of fear because someone seems different than us, we create these evils. We create the extremes. It's part of what makes me hate labels so much. People want to make it all logical. 0 or 1. Yes or no. But humans are complex. We are not a machine built to use a binary language. We feel. We think. We understand.

So, in the end. Stop blindly following someone just because they have the same label as you. Use rational thinking. Research. Educate. Think beyond your immediate action. How does it affect the future? How does it hurt someone else? If you choose to hurt someone else, why are they lesser than you? Why is that ok? How would you feel if someone treated you that way?

What in the fuck happened to the Golden Rule!?

Treat others as you want to be treated.

Let's say that a little louder for those in the back.

TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED!

That doesn't mean just people you deem worthy based on their color of skin or social class or gender, that means E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.

Anyway, what I want to say is, be a little kinder to the human beings we are sharing this life with. It's fucking exhausting to constantly be waiting for the next round of bullshit. We need more hope to balance out the pain.

Even if you just say one kind thing to someone you maybe once treated poorly, that's a step forward that we didn't have before.