You Wrote a What Now?

Six years ago while on a mini-vacation in South Lake Tahoe for the 4th of July, I found myself unable to sleep. To help calm my mind, I started to text my friend (who worked graveyards) a story. Being the always encouraging human he is, he wanted me to keep telling him more of the story. So, over the next several weeks, I would keep adding on. Eventually, he mentioned that maybe I should actually start writing my story in an actual document. So, I took my words and copied them into a document.

I was honestly surprised to see that I already had a couple of pages of a story. Then, me being the silly goose that I tend to be, mentioned this to my mother (who just happens to be an author with several books out… some of you may know her: D.L. Finn). Anyway, so I kept slowly adding to my story, finding myself enjoying the characters that were being formed.

So, when I made my way back to Minnesota to watch a dance piece I had set on a local company earlier in the year, I mentioned to my friend that I was starting a book. She immediately asked if she could read what I had, and so I obliged, handing over what I had so far while we waited for our food and sipped on some drinks.

Her reaction was pure excitement.

“Someday I’m going to be able to say ‘I know her! And I was one of the first people to read it!’”

Yes. This is very true. And, for a while, I was convinced that I would never reach the day that I would be ready to finally publish my words. Why? Because writing is fucking hard! Knowing that people, strangers are going to be reading your words, judging them, misunderstanding them, finding their faults… WHAT WAS I THINKING!?

But… then I would imagine it. The characters. The scenes. I would picture it like a movie. And I wanted it to be real. I wanted to give it life, so I continued pushing forward. It was hard, but there were no deadlines, so I didn’t worry about it much. Then, I finally reached the end. I was relieved. I could breathe. It was done!

Then I was told I needed to pass it around for people to beta read.

WHAT?! What do you mean “beta read”?! THIS IS PURE PERFECTION! (Don’t worry. It’s all just protective hubris.)

Let me just tell you now, that first round of feedback is the most debilitating. The most disheartening. The most helpful.

I wanted praise. I wanted to hear my work would do great out in the world. I wanted to know that I was done. SPOILER ALERT: It was so far from done. The funny thing is that the most upsetting feedback I got was, “I can’t wait to read it when it’s done!”

Excuse me?! It is done! That is an entire 100k word book!

I actually had to take a step away from my work. I had gotten too attached to the ideas I put down. Too attached to the characters. My husband, who is actually quite adept at finding inconsistencies, read it, giving me lots of feedback. Feedback which I did not take well. Why? Because this book was my baby. It was delicate. It was raw. And all I wanted was for people to tell me it was great.

So, in the end. I took a step away from my work for a bit. I knew I was just being dramatic, but it was like being told my thoughts were dumb (I know, I know. Imposter Syndrome is a bitch.) When I was finally ready to come back to it, I started by finding someone to create a cover on Reddit. We communicated back and forth for a bit discussing what existed in my mind, and what I got back was absolutely delightful. Ah, yes. Shit was getting real. Then, I found an editor. I was eager to send off my work. One step closer.

When I finally got my work back, it was March of 2021. Life was chaotic. I figured I’d get around to it at some point. And, when I did, editing was so much easier. Not only had I given my words time to settle, but because I had set it off, I could just tell myself the parts that I didn’t like were the changes made by the editor (often not the case, by the way).

So, now here we are. Finally at this place of my work being ready to release into the world. Fly, baby bird. FLY!

If you so choose to read my words, I hope you enjoy at least parts of them. I hope it releases you temporarily from this world and plunges you into another. And, if you find yourself wanting more, know that I have indeed planned out a second book, and hopefully it won’t take another six years to reach its end. But, who knows!

Go ahead and pre-order the kindle version now! Print copies will be available for purchase on May 19. If you want a signed copy... we'll figure something out.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09ZLLW675